It seems reasonable that if Dante Alighieri went into hell by foot in the 14th century, hundreds of years later that road would be littered with cars. Charles Sykes (Chad Lowe) and his girlfriend Rachel Clark (Kristy Swanson) race through the desert on their way to Las Vegas to get married. Along the way, Kristy is kidnapped by a demon cop who is outfitted with pentagrams instead of badges and severed demon hands chained together instead of handcuffs. Desperate to get her back, Charles seeks out Sam (Richard Farnsworth), a gas station attendant who had warned him earlier about driving that stretch of highway at night. When asked to use his phone, Sam emphatically informs Charles that “you can’t phone hell, boy. You can drive there, but you can’t phone hell.” Fortunately, Sam has a hot rod ready to loan that will get Charles there. There is nothing subtle about Highway to Hell, but it is good fun in the vein of Beeltlejuice (1988) with its contemplations on who will be doing what in the afterlife and the parallels of hell as a highway. Hell proper is actually a city where all roads on this plane lead, but most of the fun is getting there by way of a diner where cops exist in anguish in the absence of coffee and a strip club owned by Jimmy Hoffa. The strip club comes complete with a card game between Hitler (Gilbert Gottfried) and Attila the Hun (Ben Stiller). After seeing this, I think someone should have further explored Gottfried as Hitler; it works on a lot of levels. My favorite moment is a scene where Charles comes across the Good Intentions Paving Company. Director Ate de Jong’s English language directorial credits include Drop Dead Fred (1991) featuring Rik Mayall of The Young Ones and a 1987 episode of Miami Vice that featured James Brown. Highway to Hell fits well into that canon. The humor in Highway to Hell is bludgeoning, but smart enough to be engaging and the action is low budget, but contained enough in the restraints of late 80s- early 90s special effects to be enjoyable. -Billups AllenIt's MONDO MONDAYS at The Loft, celebrating weird, wild and wonderful flicks from the Mondo side of the silver screen! Admission is only $2.00, and don't forget to check out our yummy "Mondo Munchies" snack bucket ... fill a cup for a buck!
Billups Allen's interest in writing began composing lyrics for the band Shoutbus and later for the band Corn on Macabre. Lyrical duties led to writing poetry and short stories. Several of his short stories were published in a book entitled Unfurnished published by Florida’s now defunct Schematics Records. Allen currently lives in Tucson, Arizona where he writes Cramhole comic zine, writes reviews for Razorcake Magazine and the Tucson Citizen and hosts a radio show called The Groove Tomb. www.billupsallen.com
Monday, December 21st at 8:00 p.m.
It's MONDO MONDAYS at The Loft, celebrating weird, wild and wonderful flicks from the Mondo side of the silver screen! Admission is only $2.00, and don't forget to check out our yummy "Mondo Munchies" snack bucket ... fill a cup for a buck!
Billups Allen's interest in writing began composing lyrics for the band Shoutbus and later for the band Corn on Macabre. Lyrical duties led to writing poetry and short stories. Several of his short stories were published in a book entitled Unfurnished published by Florida’s now defunct Schematics Records. Allen currently lives in Tucson, Arizona where he writes Cramhole comic zine, writes reviews for Razorcake Magazine and the Tucson Citizen and hosts a radio show called The Groove Tomb. www.billupsallen.com
The world will never be in short supply of mediocre action films. But whenever a chiseled, shirtless man is shown diving in slow motion simultaneously firing an automatic pistol in each hand, John Woo’s influence on the film world is felt. While Woo’s influence has spawned some awful imitators, his attention to aesthetics and dramatic depictions of excessive violence has made him one of the most influential filmmakers of the 20th century. In spite of not becoming a household name in America, his style is celebrated by the likes of Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino, and John McTiernen whose seminal American action film Die Hard (1988) is latent with Woo’s stylistic trademarks. Woo is largely responsible for bringing Hong Kong cinema to the attention of the world. A Better Tomorrow (1986), The Killer (1989), and Hard Boiled (1992) have become the core of a cannon of films unofficially known as “Gun-Fu” and have instilled distinct qualities to the action genre.
Woo’s recent film, Red Cliff, is a fantastic example of an artist evolving his already well-honed craft into uncharted territory. Woo has woven his unique brand of action to a film steeped in epic conventions. Red Cliff is based on an actual 3rd century battle that took place at the end of China’s Han Dynasty. Cao Cao was a northern warlord who amassed enough of an army to envision a shot at usurping the crown. Cao was challenged by a group of southern warlords led primarily by Sun Quan and Liu Bei whose armies all totaled numbered only a fraction of Cao’s. Quan and Bei made their stand at Red Cliff, and Woo has masterfully shaped this battle into an epic film worthy of a place among the ranks of iconic epic films. Woo’s portrait of the battle of Red Cliff fills the screen with colossal amounts arrow fire, swordplay and flying spears. The exposition sections of the film focus on Bei (You Yong) and Quan (Chang Chen) and the psychology of battle the two employ in their campaign. Woo inserts tasteful bits of humor in the form of Quan and Bei generally staying a step ahead of Cao (Zhang Fengyi). Woo’s technique is impeccable on all counts and the breathing scenes between battles are compelling for their style as much as for their exposition. A particularly engrossing scene involves Woo crosscutting between the two camps, each in strategy meetings attempting to second-guess the other. The movie stays interesting, and with a two and a half hour running time and a complete lack of Caesarian intrigue, it is quite an accomplishment. Red Cliff works so well because it is a simple story; Cao, the seasoned northern warlord, wants the crown, and a ragtag band of southern warlords are determined to stop him. To project any complicated politics into the story would ruin it. The good guys wear white and the bad guys wear black. You might have a guess at the outcome, but you should not miss the ride. -Billups Allen
Billups Allen's interest in writing began composing lyrics for the band Shoutbus and later for the band Corn on Macabre. Lyrical duties led to writing poetry and short stories. Several of his short stories were published in a book entitled Unfurnished published by Florida’s now defunct Schematics Records. Allen currently lives in Tucson, Arizona where he writes Cramhole comic zine, writes reviews for Razorcake Magazine and the Tucson Citizen and hosts a radio show called The Groove Tomb. www.billupsallen.com
1. Holly Jolly Christmas
2. U2 – It’s Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
3. Alvin and The Chipmunks / Christmas Time
4. Del Rubio Triplets / Winter Wonderland
5. John Denver and The Muppets / 12 Days of Christmas
6. Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby / Santa Claus Is Coming to Town
7. The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
8. Bon Jovi / Please Come Home for Christmas
9. The Nightmare Before Christmas/ What's This?
10. Paul McCartney / Wonderful Christmastime
11. John Lennon / Happy Christmas (War Is Over)
12. Oscar the Grouch / I Hate Christmas
13. Adam Sandler / Hanukkah Song
14. Frosty the Snowman
15. David Bowie and Bing Crosby / The Little Drummer Boy
16. Dolly Parton / Silent Night
17. The Grinch / You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch
18. South Park / Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
19. 'Nsync / Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays
20. White Christmas
21. Elvis / Blue Christmas
22. Band Aid / Do They Know it’s Christmas Time?
23. Pee-Wee Herman / The Dreidel Song
24. Star Wars Christmas / Happy Life Day
25. Mariah Carey / All I Want for Christmas Is You
26. Charlie Brown / Hark the Herald Angels Sing
27. Run DMC / Christmas in Hollis
28. Wham / Last Christmas
29. Sonny and Cher / Jingle Bells
30. Charo / Feliz Navidad
31. Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer
32. Nat King Cole / The Christmas Song
33. It’s a Wonderful Life / Auld Lange Syne
34. South Park / Jesus' Birthday
Shout it from the rooftops, sing it in the streets, Max is back with a sly wise-crack and his hosting can’t be beat! At least that was my opinion, and many seemed to share it at intermission. Great appreciation to Mike Sterner for keeping the ship on course while Max was AWOL for two months. He’s just so good at this job. The theater was packed, the joint humming with conversation, the faces lit by smartphones texting. Max stepped to the stage, took the mic, and warmed up the crowd like he never left us. But that’s enough gushing. It was a very entertaining night, the films rocked, and it was a happy reminder that this event has a rare ability to surprise and delight.
Max kicked it off with a ringer, a mock preview titled “Poltergeist Activity” that shows a guy attempting to have sex with his girlfriend in the visual style of the indie horror hit “Paranormal Activity.” Way funny. Then Sarah Haber and Katie Gault kicked off the films in competition with “We Own The Sky” about a daughter who covers for her dad when he blasts off into space in a homemade rocket and the media hounds her for answers. Impressively well made with some strong acting.
Joshua Lamb’s “Snack Attack” followed, a man versus vending machine tale about a guy who takes a really long time to chose which candy bar he wants, and the other dude waiting for him to make a damn choice. It seemed promising, but had no twist or payoff in the end. After that Don Smith’s film, “Whatareyougonnado?,” featured a guy walking around the Princeton campus and musing on life. Rambling yet amusing, but the crowd needed to vent and GONG! no more to do.
An incomprehensible zombie movie came next, followed by another ringer, this one called “We Are Douchebags,” a hilarious mockumentary in which crass dudes stand up for their rights and dignity as douchebags. Catch it on the web. Next in competition came Zach Bloom’s “Mammal Mama,” a marvelously trippy strange primordial kaleidoscopic music video with chant music that I loved. So delightfully different. Mark Hanson’s “Shoes” about a bad date was apparently ingenious but I missed the visual punch line. Lots of other people laughed, however, so I’m getting slow.
Mike Williamson’s music video “Mindtrap” had some cool sfx (again with the kaleidoscopic) and it was followed by Eli Roth’s fabulous faux trailer for the grindhouse horror flick “Thanksgiving” (a ringer, if you’re familiar). See it on the web. As Max quipped “That puts the grim back in pilgrim.”
To keep the slasher vibe going, Josh Zientarski then screened his comic horror flick “The Cutting,” in which four happy campers trash-talk a machete wielding killer even as he chops them up. And to keep the blood flowing, Amber Welsh gave us “I spit your heart out” about two young women who kill a rapist, tear out his heart, and eat it. For a bit more levity, Buck & Steve brought us “A Bit of BS” in which one of three friends thinks that he has turned into a velociraptor, and it was funny. But not as funny as the ringer that followed, “One Dead Mule,” which is an art film version of a mega-store phone order for supplies to survive the apocalypse. Yes, hard to explain and it is ingenious. On the web, check it out.
That was followed by two teenage girls, one in drag, dancing to a “Nasty Bitch” rap song in their video “The Nasty Bitch” and it was weird and entertaining and I’m not sure what it says about the female libido. Stalwart experimentalilst Joe Carmonica and his trusty muse Diana Stapleton screened “Mischief Night at the Central Arts Collective,” which was hard to watch and mercifully roused the GONG! and we moved on. On to Tullar brother John whose James Bond spoof “Last Chance To Kill” featured cool opening titles, a full narrative with story arc, costumes, funny lines, the whole enchilada. The tale followed a pompous secret agent who has his license to kill revoked and trouble ensues. It killed. The crowd loved it. Robert Noble’s music video for the rap song “Hell House” closed the evening, and it worked okay.
So after a night with so many strong films in competition, plus an abundance of exceptional ringers, who took home the prize? John Tullar of course! “Last Chance to Kill” spun the applause meter and the Tullar brothers continue their dominance of 2009. Will they take December’s contest? I’ll see you at the Loft on Friday to find out and Happy Holidays to all!
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